How to bring up your child ~ THE “ELITE” FOUR STEP PLAN

1. SET THEM UP SO THEY INJURE THEMSELF

Ben Fogle’s wife Marina set up accident so daughter fell down the stairs – to teach her a life lesson about fear https://spidercatweb.blog/2017/07/24/marinafogle/

2. FORGET ABOUT THEM & LEAVE THEM AT THE PUB

David Cameron left his eight-year-old daughter in the pub following a Sunday lunch, after a mix-up with his wife Samantha, Downing Street has admitted.

The couple’s daughter Nancy wandered off to the toilets while they were arranging lifts and they only realised she was not with them when they got home, the Sun said.

The prime minister rushed back to the Plough Inn in Cadsden, Buckinghamshire, where he found his daughter with staff.

A Downing Street spokesman said: “The prime minister and Samantha were distraught when they realised Nancy wasn’t with them.

“Thankfully when they phoned the pub she was there safe and well. The prime minister went down straight away to get her.” Downing Street said the incident happened “a couple of months ago”.

READ IN FULL https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2012/jun/11/david-cameron-daughter-behind-pub https://archive.is/BsDw1

3. ABANDON THEM ON A ROCK SURROUNDED BY THE SEA WHEN THE TIDE IS COMING IN

He has long advocated fostering a spirit of adventure in children, arguing they should be allowed to get into the odd scrape to learn how to cope with risk.

And Bear Grylls put his money where his mouth is after marooning his 11-year-old son on a small island as the tide came in so the RNLI could practice rescuing him.

Grylls, the survival expert and broadcaster, left Jesse, the eldest of his three sons, on a rocky outcrop off the North Wales coast, taking a photograph of him standing alone to his 1.2million Twitter followers.

The RNLI later criticised him for the stunt, saying its crew “had not appreciated” that the expedition involved leaving a child on the rocks when they agreed to take part.

Jesse was not hurt in the incident, during his family holiday on the privately-owned St Tudwals island, Wales.

Grylls, known for his television expeditions and survival skills, had contacted Abersoch RNLI to ask whether they wanted to use the area, Half Tide Rocks, for their weekly training mission.

A spokesman later claimed they had not been fully aware of the live risk of the practice rescue, saying: “In hindsight, the child should not have been on the rocks.”

‘No one was thankfully hurt, but in his efforts to give the RNLI some publicity this is the wrong kind…’

– Gareth Hughes, RNLI

RNLI manager Gareth Hughes said: “The crew tell me they didn’t know Bear’s son was going to be on the rocks as there is an element of risk.

“I certainly wouldn’t put my young son on those rocks.”

Mr Hughes was on holiday at the time, and came home to discover the practice mission had involved a child.

He added: “Thankfully, no one was hurt but in his efforts to give the RNLI some publicity this is the wrong kind.

“As I understand it, it was supposed to be a low key exercise and I believe no photographs were supposed to be taken.

“But this could also encourage people to do the same which would be unfortunate.”

READ IN FULL http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/11793839/Bear-Grylls-criticised-by-RNLI-after-he-leaves-own-son-stranded-on-island-rocks.html https://archive.is/fA8ts

4. DRUG THEM & LEAVE ON THEM ON THEIR OWN NIGHT AFTER NIGHT SO YOU CAN GO ON THE PISS

Kate and Gerry McCann’s strict holiday routine and fondness for the same restaurant made their three children easy prey for a potential abductor, a key eyewitness has revealed.

The couple and their friends all left their children in their apartments at exactly the same time for the last four nights of their holiday, according to the new witness.

Their children were left alone for up to three hours a night while the nine-strong group enjoyed their meals – typically washed down with eight to ten bottles of wine a night.

The waiter, who has asked not to be identified, said the nightly routine was “set in stone”, making it easy for a potential abductor to “choose the right moment to take the child”.

He said the group made a “special arrangement” to book the same table at 8pm every night so they could sit outside, 50 metres from where their children lay sleeping.

He told how the arrangement was widely known about by workers at the restaurant, who thought it was strange that other holiday-makers had to queue for reservations at the popular tapas bar.

But he said he only realised after Madeleine’s disappearance that the routine could have made all eight of the group’s children vulnerable to a potential abductor.

He then added “The apartments are all quite close to the pool, but there are trees in between so you can’t see them from the restaurant. Even though they were checking their children every 20 minutes or so there was still a lot of time they were left alone when someone could have gone in and taken them. When you think back now, because the routine was so set in stone every night, if somebody had been watching the group they would definitely have been able to work out what was going on and choose the right moment to take the child.” READ IN FULL http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-489143/Kate-Gerry-left-Madeleine-hours-nights-row.html https://archive.is/mRZ5d