First of all, “Cabbage Patch Kids” is not a cute nickname — they grow from actual cabbages. Which is kinda fine — it’s understandable that the makers don’t want to have to begin their show with a woman in the throws of full labour & screaming her head off!! But it just keeps getting weirder from there — the magical cabbages are pollinated by mutant hybrid things called bunnybees, who drop crystals on them. As hybrids they pressumably result from a rabbit & a bee doing the horizontal tango..
The cabbage patch kids thus emerge into a world with no parents, orphans who are basically left to fend for themselves until they’re “adopted” (that is, until their doll is bought by some lucky kid whose own parents were willing to face the terror of the stampede to get one). And these kids really needed to be adopted quick, because unfortunately their little cabbage patch is in very close proximity to a gold mine owned by the evil Lavender McDade. Lavender is an entrepreneur with a brilliant business plan: kidnap the Cabbage Patch Kids and — get this — turn them into slaves. To mine the gold, obviously.
Lavender describes her plan in a song from the album (see vid) “I’ve got to stop those Cabbage Kids from finding parents of their own I’m going to need some henchmen I can’t do it all alone ‘Cause there’s gold here in the valley and the kids cannot go free I need their little fingers to dig the gold for me.”
DEVIL’S CABBAGE is another term for the words CANNABIS, MARIJUANA, POT, WEED, HASH or whatever you wanna call it!
Eg.. “Your eyes are red, have you been smoking the devils cabbage?”
Add to that the MULTITUDE of reports of children being trafficked to work (slaves) in hash farms…. This is just a few examples
- Huge cannabis farm ‘was staffed by trafficked Vietnamese teenagers 24 Feb 2017
- Sold into slavery at age of six, the Vietnamese boy freed after he was arrested on a hash farm in Lanarkshire 31st Jan 2017
- 3,000 children enslaved in Britain after being trafficked from Vietnam 23 May 2015
- Human trafficking and the illegal cannabis market – Sensi Seeds
- Trafficking victim’s nightmare journey to UK drug farm 21 Jun 2013
- From Vietnam to the UK: Child Slaves Producing Cannabis – Volteface
- Trafficked children working in UK ‘cannabis farms’ 17 Aug 2010
- In secretive marijuana industry, whispers of abuse and trafficking 8 Sep 2016
- Children of the cannabis trade – Al Jazeera English 14 Dec 2011
- Marijuana grow raid prompts human trafficking investigation 22 Sep 2016
THE CABBAGE PATCH KIDS
SUDDENLY AN INNOCENT TOY DOESN’T LOOK SO INNOCENT ANYMORE